i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
