why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Houston, we have a squirter
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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