I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i've created a new STD.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
