I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
