in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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