Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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