It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
