do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
