a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
