Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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