Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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