operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
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i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
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I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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