Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
