hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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