Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
