how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
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Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
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And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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