Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
