Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
