note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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