My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
