he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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