Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.