Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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