i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
