p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sorry about my life...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
