he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
