youre lurking in front of me
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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