I am in a vortex of obligation.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
