So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
