I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
