is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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