He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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