im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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