I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
