Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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