I showed him my bush... on skype.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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