If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
