I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
3pm strippers are depressing
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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