Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
