Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
