it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
