Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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