Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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