that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
