I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
