I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
