So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
