Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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