This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
