There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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