Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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