Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
