Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
