So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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