I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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