Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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