just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
