Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
