I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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