one might say we're banned from that church
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
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I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
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I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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