if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
