If you die in college, do you die in real life?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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