Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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