I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize