your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
