R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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