Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
